the memory of water

threading tendrils and real reflections

vibration, light refraction forming ephemeral rainbow,

illusion, vantage-dependent,

vanishing, yet ever present,

always already possible, even now.

the mist kicked up by the water’s fall,

the flesh tingle, cool, air clear,

oxygenated,

synapses fire faster with this fuel,

clarity of vision, memories made,

memories remembered,

look where we are, he said,

look where you are, i say now.

how much of your now is a future memory you pulled into form?

and if not, how can you, on your direct, immediate level, pull that future toward you, in manifest form?

hope, vision, mission,

skipping fleeting moments of awareness embedded in a nexus of not-here-(anymore/yet)-ness

~

It’s also Valentine’s Day… (waves to all the astrologers pointing out the Sun, which rules the heart, is always in exile for this holiday, and I chime in that it’s also in Saturn’s bounds, insert extra LOL)

I once wrote a poem about an unrequited love, and resonant inside the centre was a chasm, and my tortured heart screaming “Não!” into the crevice, a sentimental plea to the homonym of “NOW!” tied together with the Portuguese word for NO!

it got rejected everywhere I sent it.

which was sort of like the unreturned love.

and now it sits as a hilarious reflection, so disconnected from my current life,

and yet, the word play i tried to live that love through,

that’s really it.

I’ll probably never publish it because the point isn’t reading the poem, but the one-step-removal of telling the story about it, and that’s just as much a part of valid creative expression as sharing the actual results with anyone.

Love need not always be requited when you are making it yourself.

\\all facets of the gem of consciousness, experienced in turn//

~

real life update:

Honestly, sometimes these bound reports do not come exactly when the Sun enters a new bound because I’m not sure if anyone is reading these, or if they are, that it matters if you get the sense of things before it happens or just after it’s begun, or notice that sometimes i skip some because i have a lot of other projects i am committed to that require my attention in ways this free, public exercise does not.

and i’m coming up on two years of bound tracking (with the Aries ingress), and feeling a bit less fascinated by tracking them.

what we pay attention to grows, and healthy growth has a life cycle that includes decay, and tracking the bounds together with my people over at CAELi bloomed, flourished, has started to wither… even some of those folk show up more sporadically to our Leaps + Bounds meetings, as they are turned on to other techniques, or other pursuits, the bound tracking having done its job for most of us…

and then there’s that old maxim of giving up just before things really take off, which seems like a challenge to keep writing rainbows into a void, and then an inner desire to win or beat the challenge overcomes a more mature realization to pick your battles, and sometimes a compelling project has to see its terminus.

How would your world be different without these bound reports?

As we move into more totalitarian realities, micro acts of creativity will become more important and, likely, more private. Look at how many people are talking about cooking again… making things from scratch, a tiny world one can control, vs the larger reality spinning out… and yet surveillance capitalism and ai are eating our words alive, and scraping every pixel of what we share into some moloch…

…

i’ll keep this experiment up til the Aries equinox, and chances are, it’ll morph into a new form at that liminal juncture, or get absorbed into the CAELi ecosystem, which is where I am spending more time these days—a real-life place with real paper outside the digital panopticon that has real needs for real resources and cannot survive or thrive on good wishes or best intentions. Tangible acts of care and actual financial support keep CAELi alive. I’m grateful to everyone who has shown up and helped feed this community dream. Except for one person who stole from the library (yep, it sucked, and was just under the grand larceny threshold), a handful of early adopters have enabled the dream to materialize and become a possibility for future people to enjoy in the real world. You know, the one that’s crumbling around us?

There’s no guarantee CAELi will always be there, though. I spend every day doing what I can to stave off that version of the future.

A small cluster of people have gathered to help (thank you, you know who you are!), and I dream continuously that the entire community will rally to support CAELi the way they support organizations like NCGR, ISAR, OPA, AFA, AYA, or even Kepler College… I dream of the day an aspiring astrologer thinks about being a part of CAELi as a professional badge of honor and a hallmark of being an accomplished figure in the field. That day will come. That vision motivates me while everything else seems to be vanishing rapidly…

so yeah, that’s what’s going on the behind the scenes…

In closing, i’ll share what a good friend of mine always says, and I will be back when the Sun enters Pisces for five more missives, until we keep going or shift into a new mode. He says, "

“Make something good!”

---

Photo by Jeff Finley on Unsplash